The village is small
We've heard it all our lives "it takes a village to raise a child" but what happens when this child has extra needs, not so extra that we get a big team of funded help, but extra enough that no one would be capable of handling the bad days.
You see this isn't a post about people leaving me alone to handle autism, it's more complex than that.
It's that i even when I'm burnt out, and i feel like there's nothing left in me, i simply CAN'T send them to a friend, this child is already overloaded, they need structure and thier routine and me!
People will offer, but they don't realise what they'd be signing up for, i couldn't trust that theyd react the exact way i would to a situation, and that could lead to any of number of issues. What that would do to my child? And what would be the emotional recovery time from my "break" (approx. 3 days in this house)
So from day one when i was the only one who could change Max's nappy, i knew it was me, i had to be my own strength, i had to keep the village away, only let the very best few villagers in and only for little village visits.
So my advice is this, if you know another super mum, one that never lets you help, one that seems so strong, one you tell "i just don't know how you do it" instead of offering to babysit (because you know she'll say no) bring her a latte' , pick her some flowers, get her super kid a toy they can fixate on so she can get an hour or ten to herself, come over with a bottle of wine and a bag of chips one night, because we might not get the traditional village, but just knowing we are thought of.... that's the fuel that keeps us strong
#strongmum #raisingheros #autism #village #mumvillage #asd #adhd #friends #mumfriends #changehowyouhelp